Letters to Lincoln

Letters to Lincoln

Before my son, Lincoln, was born, I received the typical baby scrap book from one of my friends at my baby shower.

I remember thinking what most of us thought: “I’m going to fill this with stories, photos and so much love”.

Enter Real Life.

Like so many fantasies, reality wielded its ugly head. I was quickly caught up in all of life’s “to-dos” even before my son arrived.

My inner control freak whispered, “Create an email account for him, so that we can keep track of all of this information for the baby book.”

When I was 8 months pregnant I was lying on the bed feeling anything but the magazine ready and radiant. I opened his email account and started to write.

I continued to write to him, during life’s throes and woes. I think as parents, we often long for our children to remember the things we share with them when they are so little.

I share photos, videos, laughs and give advice, all whilst in the moment. I share intimate thoughts and feelings of love, joy, sadness and lament. I told him all about his great grandmother which he only met once when he was 6 months before she passed away. I told him what she was like and how much joy he brought her whilst she lay in what I can only describe as the worst of times.

A few weeks ago I discovered the baby book covered in dust lying at the back of our bookshelf.

It made me think of all those new mom ideals and how reality was something so entirely different. I’ve since learnt to do whatever works for me and to not be so hard on myself.

I quite like the idea.

When Lincoln turns 21 he’ll receive his username and password containing a lifetime of stories, photos and so much love.

I’ll share some of my letters to Lincoln to give you an idea.

Hi Linc

Today is the first time that I met your gaze.

You heard my voice during the 4d scan this morning at 09h30 Olivedale Hospital – and your eyes shot open to hear what I was saying.

The moment was truly surreal. I can’t wait to meet you.

Your dad was really upset that he couldn’t join in on today’s 4D Scan. He was in Mozambique with work. But your grandfather Johann was really happy to fill in.

You’ll probably laugh at the quality of the photographs by the time you read this. I hope you enjoy looking back on these memories when you are older.

Love Mom

I sometimes wonder what the future holds in terms of scan technology. Quite an exciting prospect.

Good morning young Saayman

Did you know that you sleep like a drunk dolphin? I feel for your future paramour :  )

You seem to have acquired a very long list of sobriquets – we’ve dubbed you “Mr Safety” of late.

We were house sitting your Uncle Ryan and Aunt Melissa’s house over New Year’s Eve whilst they were away in East London making arrangements for Ryan’s father’s funeral. And lo and behold you decided to take your first steps. Bring on the champagne right?

Not quite.

You’ll only attempt it on the bed. And you seem to have taken preference to the “bollemakisie” in lieu of walking. Thanks Aunty Ilse! (She got you onto it)

I’m glad that you’re learning how to enjoy life. Never forget it.  : )

Love Mom

For those that are wondering about the word: “bollemakiesie”, it’s an Afrikaans word for a somewhat less impressive somersault.

My dearest lambie

You seem to be a bit of a late bloomer in  the walking department. But today you took your first stand.
Stand tall and proud.
Love Mom

These really are some of my happiest memories. I hope I’ve inspired you to find a way to record your own.

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